We all know: Being a girl sucks.. Mainly because bras and make up are expensive as shit... And the day you don't wear either, people get all crazy and act like you look like this shit: 

We are always saying guys have it easier than girls, but that's a bigger lie than Bill Clinton's most famous sentence while in office-

"I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman."

I am not talking about Man Laws. There is a big difference. A man law is a set of rules that are mostly unsaid that men abide by to avoid looking gay. I mean, I can understand why they wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed, but if your friend has a penis, apparently you are SO not allowed to tell him his fly is unzipped.

Newsflash guys, your bromantic tendencies are much gayer than that.

Everyone has a guy code that they use to judge masculinity. If you say you don't think about how masculine a man is, take a good look at a guy holding a poodle. Yeah, it's tough to have lumberjack fantasies when he's got that fluffy little shit in his arms.

There are tons of things that are acceptable, but let's have a short quiz.

Buying Tampons.

If you know a guy who has a period, call TLC for a new show idea. Since we know men don't have periods or any necessary use for tampons, it just means that he has a woman/women in his life. What is more masculine than being the man of the house? Whether you are a Dad, Husband, Boyfriend, Brother or Friendzoned.. Don't be afraid to buy tampons for her! They don't bite, I swear.

Verdict: Masculine.

Driving a Mini Cooper/VW Bug.

What a guy drives alters your perspective of him. And leeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzbe honest now.. How many times have you seen Bruce WIllis saving the girl in clown car? Ummmm never. There is a reason for that, boys. 

Verdict: Not Masculine.

Wearing Short Shorts.

If not for me, do it for your country.

Being preppy is sexy. If I don't immediately cat call at a man wearing Chubbies (shorts pictured above) it is because I am wondering what is beyond that man thigh. Basically, a stylish man is a good thing. You shouldn't worry unless he starts trying on your pencil skirts. That's a problem.

Verdict: Mmmmmmmmmmmasculine

So, yeah... Basically, I'd rather be a sandwich maker than have to worry if my masculinity is being judged because I'm drinking Select 55 and Lime-a-Ritas.